10 Things My Momma Taught Me
I don't know about you, but my momma is my best friend. I am so very thankful that the Lord blessed me with a God-fearing Momma who has loved the same man (who happens to be my daddy) since she was twelve year olds. She's never even kissed anyone else. I love sharing that about their love story, because I think it is so very special. I could not have picked a better set of parents if I could have looked the world over. I do not take for granted that I was blessed with selfless, dedicated parents. I know how blessed I am to have experienced a long, sweet childhood. It is something that I thank God for often.
My dad jokes that I'm my mom's twin. My sisters got some of her traits, sure, as all offspring do...but not like me. Mom and I are the same person. And yes, there are moments that we clash because we are so very much alike. But ultimately, she's my best friend. I admire her. I crave her approval in all things. And I need to know that she is happy.
As I prepare Mother's Day Activities for my kiddos in my 2nd grade classroom to take home to their mommas, my mind wonders to my own mother. I put together a list of the first 10 words that came to mind.
That was the very first word that came to mind. When I think of my mom and what she has taught me, I think of laughter. She has taught me that it is ok to laugh at yourself. Life is much more enjoyable when you learn to do that. She's taught me that you can't take things too seriously. Laughter is her most common reaction, and I credit her youthful looks to that fact. Growing up, I watched as she chose laughter over tears time and time again. That has made a big impact on the way that I navigate this world. I couldn't count the times I've seen Mom hold her sides, tears rolling down her cheeks from laughter. It's the image I hope stays with me the longest.
Ah, the importance of color on the lip. She'd hound us before we'd go out the door in the morning for high school, before a date, or before church on Sundays. My sister and I use to joke that that's what Momma thought the criteria was for getting into Heaven. Of course, that was just to tease her. Momma isn't vain, and she didn't teach us to be vain. But she did encourage us to take care of our appearance. As I've made my way in the world, I've been thankful for that.
I smile as I think about "smiling" memories. I don't just mean from happy ones. I can recall momma whispering warnings to my sister and I in a church pew. She'd be jumping all over us to stop fighting and act right...all through the gritted teeth of a smile. From a few pews over why you'd just think she was telling us how lovely we were. When we were really little, she'd prep us in the car before church mornings by saying, "Girls, you need to smile. Look people in the eye, shake their hands, and tell them good morning." Sharing a smile with people is our duty. It might not be what we always feel like doing, but it's important. I saw the truth in this as my momma had to put her smile back on after we lost my sister. I know there are days when she doesn't feel like smiling, but she does anyway. And I know some of those smiles are just for me.
My momma is a brave lady. I've seen it many times from the simple such as singing in front of congregations to the larger of burying her daughter. Before my daddy was a preacher, he was a coal miner. Both occupations can be very scary ones. She's been right beside of him, being brave the entire time. I can recall countless times growing up where she just jumped into motion when a crisis arose. It's just what mothers do.
As children come through my classroom, it's evident to see that all mommas are not teaching manners like mine did. She taught us to say please and thank you. To let an elderly person have our seat. To not interrupt two adults talking. To chew with our mouths shut. To take our shoes off when we entered someone's house. She went beyond the simple one though. She encouraged us to ask other people about their lives and to listen to their answers. I can remember her asking us to compliment at least two other students in our class that day at school. Many times, she reminded us it isn't all about us. She taught me how to make small talk with just about anyone.
If manners are dying off, than tactfulness is all but extinct.
Tact- a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations.
Many times my jaw drops at the tactless responses from adults. Some people may just have this keen sense naturally, but others need to be taught. It amazes me how many seem to be clueless. Momma taught us that you don't ask people personal questions. You don't go announce your business (even if it isn't particularly embarrassing-- it's still personal). You don't say names when talking about someone in public places (even if you're not talking badly about them). Take care not to leave people out. Decline invitations politely. Don't ask someone how much something costs, and don't broadcast how much you paid for something. You say thank you for whatever someone gives you-- even if it's the most God-awful thing you've ever seen. (You don't just say thank you. You say thank you while you are smiling a smile that better pass for genuine.) You don't argue in public (even if your voice isn't raised). Think before you speak. Choose your words carefully. And notice who is around you. It's all about being sensitive to others. There's no wonder it's becoming a rare thing.
My sweet momma has taught me the beauty of indulgence. You don't just eat a treat, you indulge in it. You don't just take a nap, you indulge in it. There's an art to this, and let me tell you, it makes life so much more precious. Of course, too much indulgence could be a bad thing. You can't indulge in everything...but it does have a time and place. Momma has shown me just how much fun life can be. The simple things. Embrace them. Slow down and actively embrace the pleasure.
Momma sacrificed over and over again. Growing up, we never wanted for anything. We had the newest clothes, shoes, and gadgets. We had cars when we turned 16. We had vacations and opportunities. We were always given the full nine yards for every event in our lives. And not because we have money to spare, but because Momma did without. Momma put her girls first, always. She still does. You can't accurately describe the sacrifice that goes into that, except that it's selfless.
I've always said that if Dads make the world a more safe place to live, than Moms make it a more beautiful one. When I think of my mom, I think of her pointing out the beauty in life. She does it so often it's just part of who she is. She'll point to a painted barn sign as we pass by on the road. She'll point to the pink in the sky as the sun sets. She'll point out the stitching on a quilt or notice the sound that water makes against the bank. She notices the simple, every day things. She appreciates their beauty. It's not only what she sees, but also what she does. I couldn't imagine what my life would have been like without her making things beautiful for me. She has a way of putting her touch on something and changing it. She's fixed countless articles of clothing and formal dresses, painted walls, decorated cakes, and laid out tablescapes. She has also taught me that beauty is a verb and not an adjective. You need to be a beautiful person from the inside.
And of course, there's love. No one loves like a momma does. It's sacrificial, selfless, and unconditional. It's given freely and forever. I know that I always have someone on my side. Fighting my battles. Feeling my pain. Celebrating my joy. Listening and caring and praying.
Happy Mother's Day to
all women who have dedicated their lives to raising a child. It is
the most important job. May God bless you.
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