Waiting on the Weekend

From the perch on my bed, I can see some of the pine that I begged my dad and husband to leave standing when they were in the process of clearing trees for the house seat. I can also see a piece of the lake. I can remember one of the first sights I saw when I looked out the window from my bed was jet skiis zipping back and forth. I've watched the lake change from hosting summer fun, to being dark and calm for fishing in the fall, to being lowered for the winter, to being frozen and covered with snow, to being muddy from spring rain. I know that the jet skiis will be back before I know it, and that we will have lived a full year in our first home.

On the bed with me, there is a pile of reading tests waiting to be graded, a marriage book "Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti" waiting to be finished, a to-do list that's waiting to be completed, and a planner waiting to be filled.

My week was so busy last week. I had something going on every evening. On Monday and Tuesday I had to work the concession stand for the peewee basketball games. On Wednesday I had a dentist appointment. On Thursday I had a doctors appointment.  It can be so stressful trying to balance it all and to do so gracefully.

For example, I know I didn't work the concession stand as gracefully as I could have. I had been with my 2nd graders all day (this means: on my feet, one bathroom break, and praying for patience). Two hours into the peewee games, I realize that I wore the wrong shoes, am sweating, my room parents do not understand that "over the counter" is not the place for parent teacher conferences, I'm too sensitive, and it's hard to figure up change when all of the above is happening in front of a 10+ long line of parents.


In Pam's book about marriage (ya know, the waffles and spaghetti, one), she explains that women are like spaghetti in that every event in our life touches another. Everything is connected, intertwined, related. A woman's world is all mixed together: the present, the past, and the future run through our mind in any given moment.

I crawled into bed almost as soon I got home every evening last week. I did not cook dinner. I barely visited with my husband. And each day, I'd add to my to-do list for the upcoming days. Basically, in a nutshell, I wear myself out. And on top of that, the Devil is whispering in my mind, telling me I'm a failure, that I can't balance it all, that I don't even have children yet, that I'm at my youngest and life is supposedly the easiest. Aye yi yi. And somedays I listen to him.

But on other days, most days, I know that He who lives in me is greater than he who is of the world. I know that though I'm young and childless, hopefully with time and children, my heart grows and expands and I learn how to do this "adult" thing a little better. In the midst of my hectic week last week I had a revelation of sorts. It's something I've known all my life, been told all of my life, but it finally registered. For now, anyways. I know I'll lose it again, as is the way with this life we live, but I am thankful that for a time, my heart understands.

I can not live a life full of "waiting for weekends". I do not want a life of "weekends". I refuse to live only for weekends. Do you see what I'm saying? I love my job, but I don't want to count down each week and anticipate my weekends so much that I miss the time spent living in the week...as if I'm driven by a motor and charge through the week on auto pilot- no thanks!

What's more, in my revelation, I realized that all the other women out there are also big messy piles of spaghetti. I was reminded of my favorite children's novel, Walk Two Moons. In that book, the girls realize that "everyone has their own agenda". Basically, we are all running around making to-do lists, fighting the devil, running to Dr. appointments, and balancing it all. In a sense, we are all "waiting on the weekends", whatever your "weekend" may be. I know it's human nature and not something to beat yourself up about, but I definitely do think it's something we should notice and attempt to keep in check.

I have used this weekend to unwind and recharge and am going to attempt to do better this upcoming week. I've made a list that I'm going to keep to 3 bullets:

• dote on my husband
• be patient with my students
• be a light to others- extending grace, mercy, forgiveness, encouragement, positivity, etc.

Here's my prayer for the upcoming week, the first week of March.... 

Lord help me, I pray: 

To be motivated and driven to make the most of my day and get done everything that needs to be done. 

Give me peace, Lord, in the rush. Help me see the priorities, focus on "people" rather than "projects", have patience, kind words, and a cheery countenance. 

Lord help me witness Your love, be a light for Your kingdom, pour into others (husband, students, Mom, coworkers, etc.), help me build others up and serve. 

Lord help me be silent. Help me tame my tongue. I do not desire to be negative, to complain, to gossip, or to spew angry words that cut others down. 

Help me love, honor, serve, respect, and have a submissive attitude towards my Husband.

And as always, help me chase You, choose joy, and walk in love.

Amen