Waiting on the Weekend

From the perch on my bed, I can see some of the pine that I begged my dad and husband to leave standing when they were in the process of clearing trees for the house seat. I can also see a piece of the lake. I can remember one of the first sights I saw when I looked out the window from my bed was jet skiis zipping back and forth. I've watched the lake change from hosting summer fun, to being dark and calm for fishing in the fall, to being lowered for the winter, to being frozen and covered with snow, to being muddy from spring rain. I know that the jet skiis will be back before I know it, and that we will have lived a full year in our first home.

On the bed with me, there is a pile of reading tests waiting to be graded, a marriage book "Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti" waiting to be finished, a to-do list that's waiting to be completed, and a planner waiting to be filled.

My week was so busy last week. I had something going on every evening. On Monday and Tuesday I had to work the concession stand for the peewee basketball games. On Wednesday I had a dentist appointment. On Thursday I had a doctors appointment.  It can be so stressful trying to balance it all and to do so gracefully.

For example, I know I didn't work the concession stand as gracefully as I could have. I had been with my 2nd graders all day (this means: on my feet, one bathroom break, and praying for patience). Two hours into the peewee games, I realize that I wore the wrong shoes, am sweating, my room parents do not understand that "over the counter" is not the place for parent teacher conferences, I'm too sensitive, and it's hard to figure up change when all of the above is happening in front of a 10+ long line of parents.


In Pam's book about marriage (ya know, the waffles and spaghetti, one), she explains that women are like spaghetti in that every event in our life touches another. Everything is connected, intertwined, related. A woman's world is all mixed together: the present, the past, and the future run through our mind in any given moment.

I crawled into bed almost as soon I got home every evening last week. I did not cook dinner. I barely visited with my husband. And each day, I'd add to my to-do list for the upcoming days. Basically, in a nutshell, I wear myself out. And on top of that, the Devil is whispering in my mind, telling me I'm a failure, that I can't balance it all, that I don't even have children yet, that I'm at my youngest and life is supposedly the easiest. Aye yi yi. And somedays I listen to him.

But on other days, most days, I know that He who lives in me is greater than he who is of the world. I know that though I'm young and childless, hopefully with time and children, my heart grows and expands and I learn how to do this "adult" thing a little better. In the midst of my hectic week last week I had a revelation of sorts. It's something I've known all my life, been told all of my life, but it finally registered. For now, anyways. I know I'll lose it again, as is the way with this life we live, but I am thankful that for a time, my heart understands.

I can not live a life full of "waiting for weekends". I do not want a life of "weekends". I refuse to live only for weekends. Do you see what I'm saying? I love my job, but I don't want to count down each week and anticipate my weekends so much that I miss the time spent living in the week...as if I'm driven by a motor and charge through the week on auto pilot- no thanks!

What's more, in my revelation, I realized that all the other women out there are also big messy piles of spaghetti. I was reminded of my favorite children's novel, Walk Two Moons. In that book, the girls realize that "everyone has their own agenda". Basically, we are all running around making to-do lists, fighting the devil, running to Dr. appointments, and balancing it all. In a sense, we are all "waiting on the weekends", whatever your "weekend" may be. I know it's human nature and not something to beat yourself up about, but I definitely do think it's something we should notice and attempt to keep in check.

I have used this weekend to unwind and recharge and am going to attempt to do better this upcoming week. I've made a list that I'm going to keep to 3 bullets:

• dote on my husband
• be patient with my students
• be a light to others- extending grace, mercy, forgiveness, encouragement, positivity, etc.

Here's my prayer for the upcoming week, the first week of March.... 

Lord help me, I pray: 

To be motivated and driven to make the most of my day and get done everything that needs to be done. 

Give me peace, Lord, in the rush. Help me see the priorities, focus on "people" rather than "projects", have patience, kind words, and a cheery countenance. 

Lord help me witness Your love, be a light for Your kingdom, pour into others (husband, students, Mom, coworkers, etc.), help me build others up and serve. 

Lord help me be silent. Help me tame my tongue. I do not desire to be negative, to complain, to gossip, or to spew angry words that cut others down. 

Help me love, honor, serve, respect, and have a submissive attitude towards my Husband.

And as always, help me chase You, choose joy, and walk in love.

Amen 

What No One Ever Told Me About Teaching

I've always wanted to be a teacher. From the time I was a little girl, I have heard my calling. It's who I am.

I can see a 6 year old me standing up my chalkboard easel in front of my stuffed animals. Fast forward to middle school and high school... I can see a teen who adds notes in her journals about what she appreciates and enjoys about good teaching.  Fast forward to present time. I am a "rookie" who lives in my classroom. I feel like an actress on stage when I'm teaching, a preacher in front of a congregation, an artist with a brush, a singer with a song.... you get the point.

By no means do I think I'm an exemplary teacher. I aspire to be, but I am not there yet. (Again, rookie status here.) However, I do feel like I'm in my element when I'm in my classroom. As if it comes naturally. And I love to watch other naturals.  I always enjoy observing in other teacher's classrooms. I love to "steal" and copy great ideas and implement them myself. I'm always asking, how do I become better? Before graduating, I made rounds and spoke to highly thought of, seasoned teachers. I asked them all to give me a list of tips and advice. I asked them each the question that drove me then and continues to drive me now...how do you become a great teacher? 

I've taught in two different counties and in each county I had to attend a series of professional development sessions and cadres geared towards helping new teachers get their feet wet (without drowning). I learned a few things, sure, but obviously the only real way to truly gain knowledge about teaching was to, well, teach. I can remember the very first day I ever taught in my own classroom. I was absolutely terrified when 27 first graders shuffled into my room on the first day of school. Terrified isn't the word for it. The door shut and I looked around at all those eyes glued to me and I thought, "There's so many things no one ever told me..." For starters, I had no idea that even the rowdiest class is absolutely silent on the first day of school. Or how long 8 hours actually is. And at the end of that year, I experienced more things no one ever told me. Like, for example, even the best behaved group of kiddos come close to losing their minds with spring fever around April. And, also around April, 8 hours isn't nearly enough time to stuff all the standards we're supposed to cover into those little brains. 

And I could go on and on with the list I've compiled of all the things that only experience has taught me in my 3 short years. But I want to focus on the biggest one. The heart of teaching. The key. The answer to my question. The trick. The secret. The advice that no one ever told me. 

How do you become a great teacher? It's simple. Love the kids. 

That's it. That's all you have to do. Students will respect you. Parents will request you. Everything else will fall into place. And no one ever told me that. 

Here's the catch- also something no one ever told me. It isn't easy. 

And it's hard for me to admit that, but I'm just being brutally honest. Because no one ever told me that it isn't easy to love all your students with all your heart all the days of the school year. But I'm telling you...it isn't. 

 Don't get me wrong, I care about the well-being, safety, and education of every child in my classroom at all times, or I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing. I never want any of my students to hurt or hunger or be lost. That's genuine. But I'm talking about something deeper than that. There are some students who are just easier to love than others. There are some students who are just easier to enjoy...if you know what I mean- and if you're being honest, than you do. 

Sometimes people just clash. I've met the occasional person that did nothing in particular to me but yet just rubbed me the wrong way. I'm sure we all have. I don't know why I didn't consider this to also be a possibility in the classroom, but it had never crossed my mind. But just like with adults, it can be the same with kiddos. I realized the truth in that when I met Sally Sue and Bobby Joe. They had personalities that simply clashed with mine. Of course, being the professional that I am, I paste on my smile and use my teacher voice and make sure I treat them like any other student of the class. I make sure I give them compliments and encouragement and ask them about their day. There have been instances where I've actually tried to be nicer to Sally Sue or Bobby Joe than I might be to a child I truly enjoy. But here's the thing, (yet another tid-bit no one ever told me!) you can not fake a child. Somehow, no matter what, they just know. It's uncanny really. And I had no idea such tiny humans possessed such a big radar. But, boy, do they. 

So, what do you do if you can't fake it? But it isn't easy to do? 

You pray. 

I can't imagine a prayer that would sound any sweeter to our Jesus than a prayer for love. Pray that He will pour it into you so that you can pour it into them. Pray to have a heart of genuine love specifically for Sally Sue and Bobby Joe. Pray for the power to put on love through Christ so that they may see and feel His love through you. 

It won't always be easy, but it will always be worth it. It never fails to amaze me the work He can do in one's heart! And I do so eagerly pray that He never quits working on me. 

Immortality

It's no secret that we're creatures that long for immortality.

 

These days are fleeting by.

It's known that we were all born to die.

But if we look at our promise in the sky-

then all our questions are answered and we know why.

It's not morbid but a miracle that our souls can be set free.

It's no secret that we're creatures that long for immortality.

You give grace that makes our blind eyes see:

Our only purpose is to strive to become Godly.

You don't play puppets with our life- there are no strings.

We create our own paths, though You know everything.

It's no wonder we have a burning desire to worship and sing.

Our soul yearns for the day it will be given its wings.

The greatest miracle ever performed still happens today in the heart of man.

You take a sinful, stony vessel and make it begin to understand.

It is through your mercy that to Hell we are no longer damned.

You are our hope, our peace, our promise- the rock on which we stand.

It astounds my mortal self the perfection of your grand design.

It's impossible for me to know Your ways- they are higher than mine.

We are Pharisees by nature and yet still receive Your love divine.

Thank You, God, for changing me just like You turned water into wine.

You left Your Heavens to enter this world full of sin.

We cried for Barabbas and claimed You were like all other men.

You came as the sacrifice that would never have to be made again.

You won the battle and put death to an end.

We are on this Earth... but we will not stay.

I want my light to reach sinners, and that is what I pray.

We can all see Heaven's gate if we follow in your way.

I'm anchored in Your promise of returning on that glorious, glorious day.

Written by: Katie Branham (2012) 

20 Questions...

Whether you are preparing for a job interview, getting to know a significant other, or adding to your children's memory books, interview questions can be a great way to get the ball rolling. Here's 20 random questions I found on the internet. Go ahead, think of your own answers. Record them. Look back on them in a year or two. Again, I find it to be great therapy-- and it's free!

1.) If you could live in a book, which one would it be?

I'm an avid bookworm, so this is a VERY hard question to answer. As a child, I often longed to literally be transplanted into one of my favorite paperbacks. It would be a toss up between Little House on the Prairie, Caddie Woodland, The Outsiders, or any Mildred D. Taylor books. I've always said I was born in the wrong era.

2.) Where do you see yourself in five years? 

Knocking on 30...wow! If the good Lord is willing, my hubby will be a practicing PT and I will be a tenured, certified Reading Specialist (eek!). Hopefully, (again if it's the Lord's will) our little family will have grown by one or two (or 3, who's counting?). Maybe we'll have started building our house? Those are exciting things!

3.) How would you spend a billion dollars?

Funny, everyone was just talking about this due to the lottery being at the largest it had been in years. Even my 2nd graders were discussing it! Hubby and I did have that conversation, and I tried to get him to be serious about it. We would definitely invest, purchase some businesses, and become donors to some different projects. But it took him a while to get past buying a boat, a truck, moving to Florida, etc. He did, however, mention donating to all the churches in our denomination and giving them renovations. I personally can't wrap my mind around that amount of $, but I hope I would be able to do big things for my community and my school. I also see myself giving some money to Answers in Genesis (The Creation Museum, The Ark Encounter, etc.). 

4.) Why did you choose your profession? 

I didn't. My profession chose me. I am one of those blessed individuals who truly heard their calling. I remember talking to a dear friend in high school who said he didn't know what he wanted to be when we "grew up". I told him to try to find his calling. He told me he didn't hear anything. I guess that's true for some people, but I was never one of those people. I knew from a very young age that my gift is to teach. It is my passion, my hobby, and my talent all wrapped up into one. 

5.) In what ways do you hold yourself back?

Public speaking. Give me a keyboard, a pen, or a one-to-one convo and I'm golden. Put me in front of a group of people, and I crumble. Which is sad, because I do think it truly does hold me back. 

6.) How do you want to be remembered?

This is something I think about from time to time. We've all been to those funerals that are a little harder to conduct than others because the memoirs don't flow so beautiful and fondly. I constantly remind myself that I want to leave a legacy of love. I hope that I will be remembered for making people laugh and for pointing people towards Christ. That's really all I could hope for. 

7.) If you could master one skill you don't have right now, what would it be?

SINGING!! My mom comes from a long line of musically inclined individuals. Mom sings a capella in Church and her dad can play any instrument by ear.  By ear, people. And I can't even hear notes. I took a choir course in high school and a music class in college and my professors just shook their head at me. My friends have received many laughs from my car concerts. I would l-o-v-e to be able to belt out a beautiful sound. I would give all of #3 to be able to do that.... ok, half. 

8.) What's on/in your nightstand? 

On top- a doily, a lamp, a cluster of flame-less candles, a picture from our engagement shoot, and my Bible. I removed a drawer and set a basket inside that contains my iPod, chap stick, Vaseline, colored pens and stickers (for grading papers of course), highlighter, pen and journal for devotional time, and my phone charger.

9.) Your top 5 beauty items:

Easy! 1. My Clarisonic Mia that lives in my shower. 2. My True Blue products-shampoo, conditioner, body butter...that can count as "one", right? 3. Batiste Dry Shampoo <---- seriously don't think I could live without it. Best 5$ you'll ever spend. (And I tried all the expensive, fancy ones. They don't compare.) 4. Anastasia brow pencil, because my brows have always been sparse. And 5. my pink, little, oval-shaped, squishy-goodness, magical beauty blender.

10.) If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

The fact that my neck breaks out in red blotchy patches at the drop of a hat. It happens whenever I'm aggravated, nervous, upset, anxious, or just overly stimulated. It never fails someone always points it out. And if you happen to be one of these lucky individuals who is blessed with a tell-all neck, then you know how ridiculously annoying this can be. 

11.) What is "home" to you?

In a general sense, southeastern KY. Always has been, always will be. I am rooted in my Appalachian mountains. Have you heard the saying, "what would you be if you weren't a hillbilly? Ashamed", well, that's how I feel. Home will always be gravel roads, coal tipples, white wooden churches, packed basketball games, home-grown meals, and curvy roads. In a more specific sense, home is where my family is. A couple years before I married, we moved from the home and holler of my childhood. I thought I would be devastated. It did take me a while to get used to, but I soon found out that home wasn't my house on Caney Creek. "Home" was the people inside of it. But, if I had to narrow it down to one place, it would sound like a very cliche answer. Cliche or not, "home" is my husband's chest. I always tell him when I curl into his side and lay my head on his chest that that's my home. 

12.) What  motivates you to succeed?

I'll keep this one short. My dad. 

13.) If you could bring one fictional character to life, who would it be and why?

Very tough question. I always get attached to fictional characters and mourn when I finish a book. But I think it would be the older brother, Mason, from Tex by S.E Hinton. 

14.) In what ways are you the same as your childhood self?

I'm still sensitive, still talk to myself, still very clumsy. I really haven't changed much. And I'm actually wondering when will I start to feel like an "adult"? 

15.) What's the best concert you've ever been to?

I've seen Brad Paisley twice, Taylor Swift, Miranda Lambert, Toby Mac, Casting Crowns, Loretta Lynn, and The Isaacs. TS was my favorite. It was her first tour, and she still had her long, curly locks and sang sappy high school songs. Being heart broken and in high school, I loved every minute of it. I still love her, but am waiting for her to get married and find her forever. I'm hoping I will one day be able to relate to her lyrics again. I just can't get enjoyment out of jamming to sad or revengeful songs when I'm happy with my honey. 

16.) How would you survive a zombie apocalypse?

Since my husband and I share a secret, guilty pleasure of being hard core Walking Dead fans, I feel like I'd survive just fine. I'd channel my inner Michonne and hope Hubbs would find his inner Rick and/or Darrel. (Insert heart eyes emoji.) 

17.) What's the craziest thing you've ever done?

I am a first class worry-wart, so nothing too crazy here. But at the same time, I enjoy contained thrill. (Is that a thing?) I've been zip lining and white water rafting. I've done the free falling attraction at the amusement park and I'll ride any coaster. Once, when vacationing at the Keys, my sisters and I went kayaking on our own in the open ocean. We saw sharks (yes, as in more than one) swim right underneath our kayak. We were scared senseless, sore and exhausted, and positive we were going to become castaways. Not to mention, I was burnt as red as a lobster for the rest of our vacation. Definitely crazy. 

18.) If you could abolish one piece of modern technology, what would it be and why?

Cell phones! For sure. Ahhh, I can just imagine the incline in human interaction! Why? Because we'd be forced to be a lot more present in the moment. We wouldn't be instantly connected. It wouldn't be as convenient or tempting to access social media.

19.) What's your fondest childhood memory?

I am blessed to have had a wonderfully long and pure childhood. I can recall so many fond memories it'd be impossible to choose. On many summer days, my sister and I would ride our bikes down to my grandma's house where we would watch my papaw feed the birds and peel apples from his apple tree in unending, spiraling peels. We'd take turns braiding Grandma's long, gray braid, eat cornbread crumbled in a glass of milk, and laugh at Grandma laughing at the Golden Girls. I'll never forget those days. Or the sleepovers, the adventures in the haylofts, the nights spent in a camper, the days at the beach, the countless times I licked the brownie bowl, the magic of Christmas mornings, or chasing salamanders and tadpoles in a creek. 

20.) Who do you follow on Youtube? 

My girls, Jaclyn Hill and Maddie Ziegler. 

Answers in Genesis, Ken Ham. 

And of course, for my 2nd graders, Readeez and Wayside.